I don't want to be close, just closer.

[barbiematerialtm]

Avalon sat down in the lawn, thinking about how things haven't been working in her life. She feels like everything is crashing before her eyes, and her heart got ripped out of her chest, stepped on, lit on fire in front of her eyes, then put back in her chest.

"No one understands me." she said, inhaling deeply.

She looks at the people passing by with smiles on their faces, wondering how they could be happy, and how many of they're smiles are just holding back tears.

She realizes people can have a reason to be happy. Some people are just happy knowing they are living. But, knowing she is living just makes the pain even worse. Knowing she has to go through pain for the rest of her life, and there is more suffering and misery to come about. She feels as if everything around her is just one big lie.

Avalon starts picking at the grass.

"I don't understand how someone could be so happy, just knowing they are going to die one day and everything they've done will have been for nothing. After you die everyone will forget you, as your dead corpse rots in the ground as maggots feed off your pathetic soul." she said quietly, gazing into the sky. "There's nothing worth living for, people only live to die. Love to be betrayed."

She hangs her head toward the ground, and decides she should try not to think so negatively.

"It runs through the blood in my veins. These thoughts pour out into the sky, and fill the clouds with gray, until it gets so heavy, they weigh everyone down with pity and despair..." she thought to herself.

One tear falls down her cheek, as her eyes start to burn like the fire in her heart. The fire that won't be extinguished until the day her soul is rotted into a black hole in the universe of unknown opinions of the afterlife.

Avalon smiles at herself.

[insane]

Isabella yawned aimlessly into the musky afternoon air, shaking her head vigorously. She stared at passing students and chuckled. I bet their life is good, better than mine. Their father isn't dead. They didn't get a stupid letter saying their whole family is dead and the one that survived is now in hiding! Bastards! She bellowed into her mind, wanting to scream it out at all of them. She didn't though, it would have made her look even more insane than she was, if that was possible. After the letter she just lost it completely.

She shook her head again then stared at the ground in front of her as she walked, around for a while. Then something caught her eye. She opened her ears to listen to whatever she could hear.
"There's nothing worth living for, people only live to die. Love to be betrayed."
She heard something rather odd and for a second she thought she saw a girl sitting in the grass but then it was gone. She sighed thinking it was just another hallucination. She decided to go investigate, anyways, to see if it was really something.

She was walking rather quickly, her curiosity got the best of her and she wanted to know what it was. She was almost into a slow run when she came into contact with something. She tripped over something, or someone. She landed rather hard on the ground. She didn't break anything thankfully but it did hurt a lot. She lifted her body up with her hands. It was hard for her since her body felt so heavy and her arms felt so weak. She finally managed to sit up after a while of struggling. She sighed heavily then looked around from side to side then in front of her. She didn't see anything. She shrugged.

Then she remembered that there might be someone behind her. She shot her body around and saw a girl then blinked and she wasn't there anymore. She just sat and stared wondering what just happened. "I know I saw someone there! Stupid hallucinations! Why is life so crazy? Why are people afraid of what is different? Why be so mean to everyone...? We are all going to die horribly anyway so what is the point of wasting your breath on that when you are going to die anyways?! Bastards!" She yelled softly and let it linger in the air in front of her. If there was a girl sitting in front of her then she would be able to hear but not the passing students around. She bowed her head fighting a few tears that crept its way to the brim of her eyes.

She just sat there staring at an empty space in front of her. Every so often though she would blink and see something but she would blink again in confusion too quickly to register that is reality not a hallucination. She sighed and opened her ears to see if anyone would speak. She cradled her head with her hands wondering if she really was going insane, she didn't realize she already had. She had a major headache, then again you would too if you hit the ground hard like her. She pulled her hand away and saw a little bit of blood, it bothered her because she couldn't remember the spells Gyan always used to clean it up, she vaguely remembered the one to seal wounds though. She chuckled in her mind as a few thoughts raced in her head. She couldn't decipher what they were but she knew they were there.

[barbiematerialtm]

Avalon looked at the girl in front of her.
"It looks like she can see right through me..." she thought to herself.
"Although, it's not like everyone else does that...after all, I think I'm one of the most useless people here. Wasting the oxygen that keeps these other useless beings alive. I'm just waiting for the day when all these hideous beings die. Including my worthless soul. No one wants to be friends with someone like me. I'm a blemish on the face of the earth."

Avalon realized she had zoned out a little bit.
She started looking at the girl in front of her.

Things were a bit awkward, so she stood up and walked away kind of fast.


"I don't know what that was about..." she said to herself.

[insane]

Isabella stared at the girl in front of her. She finally saw her, and she didn't blink at all, so she wouldn't loose sight of her. Her eyes burned lightly from not blinking. She watched the girl walk away in a slow run. She sighed, another ran form her. First Gyan now this strange girl. She shook her head. She closed her eyes tightly since they burned from keeping them open.

She smiled aimlessly and stared in front of her and just sat there waiting for someone to come up to her, anyone, and talk to her. She might not be much of a conservationists but she wanted-needed- someone to talk to. She felt salty wet tears burning the brim of her eyes. They were sensitive to things since she had them open for so long.

Things were racing in her head. Thoughts were tossed around and her mind was turned upside down. A little blood trickled down the side of her face but she didn't seem to notice. She let out a scream then just stared at all the passing students staring at her like she really was insane. She wanted to scream at them all. Tell them they all were freaks and bastards. She wasn't any different from them. Was she? But she didn't have to strength to scream, only speak. Not for much longer but she still needed to talk to someone.


( I realize she has no room to say the girl is strange really, but she isn't aware that she is insane. )

[barbiematerialtm]

When Avalon heard the girl talking, she turned around.
"Maybe I should go back...that wasn't very fair of me to run away."

Avalon walked over to the girl.

"Are you alright? Sorry about running off, I'm not a very talkative person, and I'm still not quite sure you'll enjoy my company. No one else really does. I mean, friends don't really call each other a freak and mean it... " she said, looking at the sky the whole time.

[insane]

Isabella just stared at the girl with blood trickling down her face. She could actually see her now, even when she blinked. She smiled and chuckled just a little bit, she really did look insane right now. She took a sharp breath in and shook her head a little.
"Are you alright? You'll enjoy my company. Freak."
She stared at the girl with sad green hazy eyes. After hearing that the salty tears at the brim of her eyes trickled out ever so slowly till the ones on the right side of her face mixed with the blood making it stream faster down her face.

"I'm fine. It didn't hurt at all." Her voice had one flat tone that seemed really scary, like she didn't have a soul at all. She chuckled kind of pathetically. "Did you call me a freak...?" She didn't touch her face at all so the tears were still streaming in the same path. "I'm not a freak. I'm perfectly fine. I'm not insane or anything." Her voice cracked a little then went back to the same flat scary tone.

It was kind of odd that she didn't feel anything, that nothing hurt, when she was sitting there bleeding from her head. Her reddish-brown hair flowed a little in the wind as it breezed by them both. She sighed sharply and glanced at all the random students staring at her like she was going into the insane asylum. She bowed her head and the blood and tears started to drip onto the ground. She still didn't seem to notice she was bleeding though. She really had gone completely insane. But the most pathetic and depressing part of it was.... she didn't even know it.